Home for a week

I successfully made it back to Virginia on Sunday evening after flying back home to Texas on Thursday evening!

I never thought I'd say I was tired of flying or traveling, but I think I'm coming to the point where I can say that. Less than a week from now, on Monday, we'll board another plane headed to Atlanta for 3 days.

I had a great weekend back home at my parents house hanging out with the family. At points during my time there I thought to myself, "really, why do I live so far away?" I love my family, and I'm so thankful for them, but it was nice to get to come back to VA and feel 'at home' again. Of course there was no beautiful, warm, sun shiny days while I was there, it was torrential downpour. Though I did make it out into the pasture once on the 4-wheeler.

My brother and his girlfriend and both of their kids were there as well as my sister, Eric & Will; Rachel and Anna were there as well. It was nice to get to see mostly family but a few close friends as well.

We had fun making oatmeal-raisin cookies, red-play dough, and playing many rounds of Quiddler.

Of course all of the dogs were thrilled to see me, especially Ozzie and Roma!

Oh travel.

4 states in less than one month! I think I'm setting some sort of record!

Since I've been working for the Warren's, I've been traveling with Sharla to her conferences....only I have only been to Orlando, FL thus far. On Sunday we set off to San Antonio, Texas (of all places) until Thursday! I'm super excited about the fact that it is in SA because I'll get to see Jennifer, Will, my Dad, and Susan!! How much better could a "work trip" be!?

Then just 1 1/2 weeks later, we'll be heading to Atlanta, GA for 3 days, and then a week after that I head to Keystone, CO and then just 3 days later I'll be in Las Vegas, NV!

The best part is, the whole time, I just hang out with Charlie.... so we'll take walks, we'll take naps, we'll just hang out and play and have a great time.

In between my trip to Atlanta & Keystone...the RBDwyer Adventure team will be making a trip to Washington, D.C. to see me which I am really excited about! I can't believe that they're coming all this way, though clearly D.C. has a lot to see and do, and with the ages of the kids, it's perfect time.

Needless to say, I'll be officially exhausted come May 12. Did I mention we're taking the 'red-eye' flight out of Vegas, back to D.C.! We leave at like 11:30pm and arrive back in DC at 7 a.m. the next day. Of course, this will be the easiest flight for Charlie which is why we are taking it! I mean, we're practically flying from the West Coast to the East Coast... almost.

I'm super excited about all the traveling, however it's going to be super busy at each destination!

But before I leave on Sunday... I'm going to see Chicago with Rachel which I'm pretty excited about! Should be a great way to leave D.C.!

Spring.... Sardines...

So this past weekend, I ventured out into D.C.,...on my own, to see the Cherry Blossoms - not quite sure of really just what I would experience, at all.

Before I got to take in the Cherry Blossom beauty and smell, I went over to Ebenezer's Coffee House to help stuff Easter Eggs for the Easter Eggstravanganza I volunteered to help out with this upcoming weekend. That was a feat in itself because... I metro-ed in from Falls Church, had to CHANGE train lines (big deal people) and then go on to Union Station and then walk to Ebenezer's - the most I've done "on my own" thus far. The good news was I made it...the bad news, the process.

Saturday also happened to be the day of the Cherry Blossom Parade, so mind you, everyone who lives in D.C. plus 1 million visitors were out and about, also using the metro- perfect. I officially felt overwhelmed by the amount of people I was surrounded by...and this included me being FORCED onto a metro train, like no way I was turning back, people were pushing on...and even better, I could barely breath, not to mention how there was no personal space at all. Granted, this might be a normal occurrence for people who live in D.C. or just metro more than I do, especially in like rush hour - but for me, definitely a first, and I definitely felt like a sardine.

After I finished stuffing eggs I decided to make my way down to the National Mall and enjoy the day for awhile. It was quite the site to take in....the mall was filled with tons of people and lots of kites - it felt like I was in some sort of movie....way cool.

After venturing down to the Tidal Basin and noticing just how many people were here, and at the Jefferson Memorial, I decided to just stay where I was and take pictures there...no need to try to move through that many people. So I didn't, and I took a whole lot of pictures - some of which are posted on the shutterfly site ... I didn't post all 200 of them, don't worry!

So I had one more shot at being a tourist, and it was definitely worth it...the Cherry Blossoms are quite beautiful, no doubt.

Texas for the Weekend

This past weekend I headed back to Texas for my first visit since I left. I realize it's only been a little over 2 months, but when you're used to seeing family as much as I was, 2 months is a long time.

A couple of weeks ago Dad mentioned to me that he thought it'd be a good idea if I came home one weekend, soon, to see Mimi. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. With the original intentions of it being a day trip...literally, it turned out to be the entire weekend, and I'm glad it did.

It all started with me flying out of DC bright and early...6 am, to San Antonio. I was hoping to surprise my sister for the weekend and it worked out just perfect. Susan picked me up from the airport and our first stop was Mama Margies...really good fast Mexican food, food like you can't find up here...so that definitely hit the spot. We then headed to Fredericksburg where I walked in my sisters backdoor and scared her! She had no idea I was coming and it was perfect. She was so glad I was there...as was I, even if I had woken up at 3:00 am EST to come to Texas! Will was asleep when I arrived and I kept wanted to wake him up to see him, however, when he did wake up... he wanted nothing to do with me! It kind of hurt my feelings, but I'm going to blame it on the bangs. Even after trying to offer him oreos for a 'peace offereing' I got nothing.... though, he eventually did figure out who I was and it was all fine after that!

Saturday we spent most of the day in the car, driving to Houston to see Mimi, although it made for a long car ride, it was worth it. I also got to see Robert & Sarah and their family as well as Aunt Judy. I also got a surprise visit from Hayley & Kaylynn! I had no idea they were coming over, nor did Jennifer, so it was really great to get to see them too! It was nice to see everyone and really hard to believe that I was there "visiting."

It was Sunday before I knew it and time to fly back home. It was fun to be there and I'm defnitely glad I got to spend the weekend in Fredericksburg, kind of, even though we were barely there.

Of course it wouldn't be smooth sailing all the way home because when I got back into DCA, I could not find my car - which was awesome. I walked around for about 35 minutes before I finally called Rob and was like yea, I can't find my car. Of course, once he got there to help me "search" for my car, we found it in no time at all.

It was a quick trip, highly worth it, but I'm happy to be back home.

Not Hot

It is not scientific doubt, not atheism, not pantheism, not agnositicism, that in our day and in this land is likely to quench the light of the gospel. It is a proud, sensuous, selfish, luxurious, church-going, hollow-hearted prosperity.

So there is an incalculable, faultless, eternal God who loves the frail beings He made with a crazy kind of love. Even though we could die at any moment and generally think our lives are pretty sweet compared to loving Him, He persists in loving us with unending, outrageous love.

However, most of us, including myself, at times are not interested in giving Him all we have. We try to fit Him into our lives, when in actuality we should be fitting our lives around Him.

Most of us have too much in our lives. "Too much of the good life ends up being toxic, deforming us spiritually." - David Goetz.

Do we justify ourselves by being "Godly enough" to get to Heaven in comparison with others? Or do we really "want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like Him in his death." (Phil. 3:10)

I've come to find that the American church is a difficult place to fit in if you want to live out New Testament Christianity. The goals of American Christianity are often a nice marriage, children who don't swear, and good church attendance. Taking the words of Christ literally and seriously is rarely considered. That's for the "radicals" who are "unbalanced" and who go "overboard." Most of us want a balanced life that we can control, that is safe, and that does not involve suffering.

We are all messed-up human beings, and not one is totally immune to 'lukewarm' behaviors. However, there is a difference between a life that is characterized by these sort of mentalities and habits and a life that is in the process of being radically transformed.

Jesus didn't say that if you wanted to follow Him you could do it in a lukewarm manner. He said, "Take up your cross and follow Me."

I pray that I never settle for being 'lukewarm.' Certainly I'm far from perfect, and thankfully His grace is more than sufficient.
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My sophomore year of college I joined Living Hope and found out what it looked like to live out your faith, every day, basically what it looked like to not be 'lukewarm.' I heard the truth preached every Sunday, from a pastor who loved us deeply, and cared about our eternity. There was genuine community, the church was full of it. Honestly, that's something I miss now that I'm in Virginia. When I read blogs and see what's going on in the lives of people who attend LHBC, I realize how truly lucky I was to be called to be a party of that body.

Spring '08, I flaked away from there, went into the valley, and lived out an awful version of 'lukewarm Christianity.' Faithfully, He called me back. Thankfully, He called me back. I came back with a new and jumpstarted faith. My passion for Him was re-ignited. I wanted to know more, and to really make sure I was doing what He was wanting for my life... not what I was wanting. I wanted Him to take the worst parts I had just been through and use them for His glory. Not understanding how he could take something like that and use it for His good, but certain He could and would do so.

Lo and behold, He ripped me straight out of my comfort zone and took me to Virigina. In just two short months I went from "I'm staying in College Station for at least five years.... to.... I'm moving to Virginia in January." This required packing and selling my house, a place that I had lived in for 4 years... it was a process. People asked me why, and I really had no answer.

During that process, I was certainly scared to death, scared of leaving Texas - my friends, my family, everything I knew. I spent a lot of time crying, more time praying, just that I would be following His will and not my own. Thankfully, He made it really clear to me that this was where I was supposed to go (though, this didn't make it any easier).

I got to Virginia, and instantaneously it felt like home, something I really didn't feel was possible. I can say I love it here, and I'm thankful that I took the leap of faith and listened when He called me.

When Rachel was here a few days ago, we were talking about how strange it was for her to be "visiting" me in Washington D.C., it's just kind of unreal. She asked if I knew where I'd go when I moved back, and the awesome part is - I have no idea, not even the slightest clue. Truth be told, it's nothing I need to worry about at this point. Worrying only implies that I don't quite trust God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening or what will happen in my life. And maybe I never make it back to Texas, I for sure never thought I'd leave.

A few days before I had been thinking about all that happened in the time-span of a little over a month. And how, when I move back to Texas... where would/will I go? I had everything I needed to start a life in College Station...how crazy it must have looked that I just literally uprooted and moved, giving most of the stuff away in my house, to follow Christ...where He was leading me. It certainly didn't make sense to my family, and looking back on it now, it does seem crazy. No, he wasn't leading me to a third world country, but it might as well have been for me with how scared I was. I'm certain He's got me here for a reason.

The truth is, I'm thankful, thankful to be where I am and thankful that He's leading me.

Ultimately, I have little control over my own life and what will happen to me. The easier thing would have certainly been to start living in a guarded, safe, controlled way. To stop taking risks and to be ruled by my fears of what could happen.

I'm thankful for the unknowns and that I don't have control, because it makes me run to God.

I find myself relearning this lesson often, about control and letting Him have it. Even though I glipmse God's holiness, I am still dumb enough to forget that life is all about God and not all about me.

Called to Love

God's definition of what matters is pretty straightforward. He measures our lives by how we love.

Paul writes that even if "I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing" (1 Cor. 13: 2-3).

According to God, we are here to love, not much else really matters.

In this day in age, the word love is so overused and worn out.. He tells us:

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoings, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends...faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. - 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8, 13

Someone once challenged me to something which profoundly convicted me and still does. Take the phrase Love is patient and substitute my(your) name for the word love. (Ashley is patient...) And do it for every phrase in the passage...

By the end, don't you feel like a liar? If I am meant to represent what love is, then I often fail to love people well.

If you put insert in God instead of love, everything is just as it should be, because God is love.

The fact is, I need God to help me love God. And if I need His help to love Him, a perfect being, I definitely need His help to love other, fault-filled humans. Something mysterious, even supernatural must happen in order for genuine, no strings attached, love for God and His people to grow in our hearts.

The Furious Longing of God